Episode 66 – Not Taking Things Personally

 In Podcast

We continue our dialogue on The Four Agreements and share our experiences and insights about taking things personally. Almost all of us take things personally. Yet the second agreement advises us to not take anything personally, because nothing other people say, think or do is because of us. When we get this, we become immune to the opinions and actions of others and experience authentic freedom.

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Underlying premise

We are dreaming all the time, and unaware

Society’s dream – the dream of the planet

Mom and Dad, the schools, and religion teach us how to dream

It is normal for us to suffer, to live in fear, and to create emotional dramas

Domestication of the planet

We’ve been taught what to believe since our beginning – we don’t chose, we agree

We believe the opinions that have been given to us

False beliefs blind us to Truth

Some examples:

How we eat/dress/look

Our faith traditions

Acceptable language

Accepted thoughts/beliefs about other people

What we believe about ourselves

The Four Agreements are new agreements that we are invited to accept in place of the Book of Law we inherited

They can create enough personal power for us to change the entire system of old agreements

Our Movie

Not taking anything personally

Nothing other people say, think or do is because of you

When you take it personally you agree with whatever was said

You are eating their emotional garbage

You set yourself up to suffer for nothing

“Whatever people do, feel, think, or say, don’t take it personally. If they tell you how wonderful you are, they are not saying that because of you. You know you are wonderful. It is not necessary to believe other people who tell you that you are wonderful. Don’t take anything personally. Even if someone got a gun and shot you in the head, it was nothing personal. Even at that extreme.” The Four Agreements

The Key Question is “Where do you place your trust?”

Can we just say/think, “I love you” no matter what people say, think or do to us?

What would life look like if we could?

Dialogue Questions:

Take an honest look at your life. What agreements have you inherited? Name a few that seem to be life drivers. Name a few that are more insidious.

How have your taken things personally in your life? What was the result?

What impact would not taking things personally have on you? 

What blocks you from not taking things personally? What is the allure/result of victimhood?

Share a time when you became aware of how you took something personally and shifted your awareness.

What else does this mean to you?


Standing in my own Truth, I place my trust in God. I am immune to what other people think or say about me. With an open heart, I allow their story to be their story and I know that no one can hurt me. Staying focused on my own Truth, I trust myself to make responsible choices and stay true to my inherent God-nature, perfect and whole.

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