Healing Our Inner Child

In Unity we teach that we can change our world by changing our thoughts. Our minds are incredibly powerful. They can also be incredibly weak and lazily accustomed to habit. That's why it can sometimes take work to change a thought. In my twelve years of ministry, I have found "change your thoughts" to be a difficult prescription for the vast majority of people to follow. Because most people's changed thoughts keep coming back.

The thoughts that plague us with their repeated return are rooted deeply in the unconscious mind. They took root at an early age as some type of survival mechanism. If you investigate them, you will find they have an age and a place where they formed, which most likely intersects a point of trauma (disconnection, abandonment, abuse, fear, etc.). To change such a thought can require a visit to its place of origin and to go back and visit that place is not at all enticing. In fact it repels us because we don't want to feel the feelings again. Yet we must if we want to live free of limiting, life negating thoughts. We must if we want to learn how to live as our own authority. We must if we want to break the cycles of disconnection, abuse and domination in our world. This is the healing that calls to us.

Often when I pray with or coach people, inner child work comes up. When I hear that a person is trapped in a thought (some examples are "I'm a bad/good person" "I am unlovable/unworthy/unattractive/not deserving" "People are too critical of me" "I feel embarrassed/inadequate/superior" "I have to take care of others" "It's bad to have money"), I can usually tell that the idea was formed at a young age. The thought keeps coming up because the inner child who formed it needs to be heard and lovingly parented by the Higher Self. To do that, a person must be willing to go inside and find the child, feel his/her feelings, listen deeply and have a conversation. This is what the inner child seeks, and without it, s/he may throw tantrums, project what is missing inside onto others (often onto outside authorities who may or may not have good motives), or keep tapping at the conscious mind with thoughts of victimization (powerlessness) or superiority (power over others).

This is at the core of most of the acting out we see in families, in romantic relationships, among friends and co-workers, and on the world stage.

We each have inner child work to do, and doing it is the kindest thing we can do for ourselves and the world. It is the hero's journey. Like heroes in mythical lore, when we complete the journey, we live at another level of consciousness. We are more whole. We can feel vulnerable without having to fight or flee. We act out less and project less. We nurture life and innocence rather than destroy them. We are closer to our authentic nature.

There's obviously a lot of work to be done because you can see the world we have created all around us. The widespread non-integration of our inner child shows up on the world stage nearly everywhere -- so much so that observing aliens might conclude that there is a war on the children of our species, as we seem to consistently traumatize them. Remember, we are creating with the thoughts and beliefs that we hold -- the ones we decided on ourselves and the ones we inherited. We have the choice to create in alignment with spiritual principles or out of alignment with spiritual principles. With new thoughts/beliefs, we can create differently. A review of this can be found in Episode 71 - It's All in Divine Order, Or Is It?.

One of the earliest traumas we inflict on our kids is the normalization of violence. We all know that violence is rampant in TV shows, movies and video games, which are all now part of our social fabric. Whether you live in the inner city, country or suburbs, violence unfortunately is a part of every child's socialization process. Every time a child accepts the okay-ness of violence, there is a wound, a loss of innocence. But it starts much earlier than the introduction to media/entertainment.

During my conversation with Victoria Moran a few years ago, she shared that every hungry child who is given the choice between an apple and a bunny rabbit, will always choose the apple. Every time. That's because it simply isn't natural for a (non-psychopathic) child to want to sink her teeth into a living animal. The natural inclination of the child is to move toward animals, to touch, pet and hold them. But out of conditioning, adults put the rabbit (or chick, pig, calf, etc.) on their child's plate over and over again. It's a habit, a custom. In the beginning, the child doesn't know what he is eating - a nugget or a corn dog is the food that is given. But eventually he finds out, and if there is still some innocence left in him, it can be an unwelcome awakening.

I'll never forget the look on my own two-year-old's face when her grandma served her dinner and said, "Here's your fish!" As my little daughter's mind churned, she connected the fish on her plate to the fish swimming behind her in the fish tank, and her eyes widened in shock and horror. But then she was told that it was okay. Is it? We systemically numb our children and ourselves when we eat the flesh of sentient beings, who are not unlike our cats and dogs. We do this because we hold the thought/belief that violence is a necessary way of life. With another thought, we would create differently. This is an deep unconscious wound, because our original nature is love, and we compromise ourselves whenever we kill or cause harm that isn’t honestly necessary. This is the healing that calls to us.

Most recently, our thoughts/beliefs in infection and the finality of death caused us to systemically terrorize a generation of children. We taught them to be deathly afraid of an invisible monster. With an infinitesimal risk of becoming ill themselves, we taught them that their breath had the power to kill grandma. Then we masked them to make sure that they didn't kill her, and forced them to learn in awkward, non-social settings. For the less privileged, social skills and learning were dramatically impaired.

The relentless fear program broadcast 24/7 by media and authority figures now rests deep in the recesses of our children's psyches, making a home in the mysterious unconscious. When these children grow to be adults, these fear programs will surely surface and scream through metaphorical masks, acting out in who knows what ways. There has been little to no consideration during this time for the innocence of our children and the future minds they will inhabit. What would we have created if our beliefs were centered on life rather than the fear of death and disease? What future would we have set in motion? Believe what you want about COVID, masks and teaching children to care about people. We have no idea what is hidden inside these kids that will undoubtedly impact generations to come. This is the healing that calls to us.

Perhaps the most horrific example of our collective non-integration of our inner child is the ubiquitous nature of child sex trafficking. It's very hard to see how we are creating this in our world if we aren't a participant, but alas, we are. What keeps this ghastly program in the collective consciousness going is our unwillingness or inability to see it. In the USA alone, 300,000 children are prostituted each year as victims of child sex trafficking. It crosses classes, races, nationalities, international borders, genders and economic status. It is hidden in plain sight with abusers often being those who are most esteemed in a society. It's so egregious we just can't bring ourselves to believe it is real.

I encourage everyone to dig into this and see what you can find, for it takes light to dissipate darkness, and we are that light. In Episode 159, John Paul Rice speaks of his own observations of the misuse/abuse of children in Hollywood during his many years there. The raw testimony of Anneke Lucas will open your eyes to the satanic rituals that esteemed world leaders participate in. There are many others who have tried to get their stories out, without success. Additionally, it is worth noting that we all seem to be okay that no charges have been brought against any of the hundreds of elites who regularly visited Epstein Island. That was yesterday's news and we are onto the next thing. What are we thinking? Literally.

I personally know many spiritual journeyers who simply refuse to look at this, believing that by thinking only on positive things, evil will not manifest. This is the ultimate spiritual bypass and an error in our teaching. When we refuse to look at the darkness in our world, we are refusing to look at the darkness in ourselves. And neither goes away on its own. Only when we are brave enough to see it, can we shine light on it. Only when we have the courage to delve into our own shadows and see what lurks there, will we recognize our own part in it. Only when we are able to take back the projections of our golden shadow onto leaders and celebrities, will we be able to see their participation in it. With new awareness, we can create differently. This is the healing that calls to us.

I have barely touched the surface. There are many other ways that our non-integration of the inner child produces suffering in the world. The bottom line is the children of the world need our protection, as does our own inner child. The two are interconnected. To even begin to bring heaven to earth, we must heal ourselves. Jesus was very clear on the value of children and the need to restore our innocence and wonder:

“Let the children to come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of God belongs to such as these. Truly I say to you, whoever does not receive the kingdom of God like a child will not enter it at all.” Luke 18:17

"Whoever then humbles himself as this child, he is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven." Matthew 18:5.

“If anyone causes one of these little ones who trusts me to stumble, it would be better for them to have a large millstone hung around their neck and to be drowned in the depths of the sea." Mark 10:16

There is a lot of healing to do and a lot of old beliefs to release, on a personal and global scale. We need to get to work and begin with healing our own inner child. There is no more important work we could be doing. Every child within who is emotionally held and integrated, creates the space for authentic relating and weakens the collective abuse programs that harm the world’s children. Put feet to your prayers, go within and begin a conversation with the child in you. God will see this through. And remember, "With God, all things are possible." (Matthew 19:26)

© carol saunders 2022