Episode 17 – Who Are You (Still) Complaining About
Forgiveness is for us. When we forgive, we relieve ourselves of the burden we carry around in our everyday lives. We often convince ourselves that we have forgiven another, but when we’re still complaining about someone, it’s an indication that there is more work to do! So who are you still complaining about and what are we going to do about it?
When we’ve been wronged and hold on to it – revenge, resentment, blame
Or when we don’t forgive ourselves – shame
Forgiveness is letting go of the need for revenge and releasing negative thoughts of bitterness and resentment
Not forgetting or excusing
Directed to Self and/or others
Forgiveness is an act of Love
“If we can find ways to increase hope, maybe we can decrease defensive aggression.” Nir Halevy, Organizational behavior professor, Stanford
“We must develop and maintain the capacity to forgive. He who is devoid of the power to forgive is devoid of the power to love. There is some good in the worst of us and some evil in the best of us. When we discover this, we are less prone to hate our enemies.” Rev. Martin Luther King, Jr.
“Not seven times, but, I tell you, seventy-seven times.” Matthew 18:22
“Many people have trouble with forgiveness because they have been taught it is a singular act to be completed in one sitting. That is not so. Forgiveness has many layers, many seasons.” Clarissa Pinkola Estes, author of Women Who Run with the Wolves
It’s important to name and feel the feelings
“The practice of labeling your feelings helps create space between your emotions and your reactions so you can choose how you want to respond in the moment.” Carley Huck in Forgiveness is an Inside Job
When Bonnie shares about naming the feelings, she references the book, Nonviolent Communication by Marshall B. Rosenberg. Here is an excerpt from the book:
Last week I asked you to watch your
life. Who/what are you still talking about?
After fully feeling the feelings, continually practice Love as forgiveness to free yourself. Share your experience.
What blocks you from the act of forgiving yourself or others?
Forgiveness is a process. When I forgive, I wipe the slate clean. I replace feelings of anger, resentment or fear with Peace and Love. These qualities reflect the truth of who I am and how I want to live. I am a free soul, unconditionally loved. As I forgive myself and others, I am at Peace and express Love. Through forgiveness, I am free of the past. I embrace a new life.